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How to live well: 1st meeting - values, self-determination theory, roles & goals

 

"When I get to heaven, they will not ask me 'Why were you not Moses?'.  They will ask 'Why were you not Susya?  Why did you not become what only you could become?'"                    Susya, a Hasidic rabbi

          "Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground."                                                                                                                                Jalal al-Din Rumi

Ch.9: Values, Meaning, Needs & Goals

“ If in your head you undertake hatha yoga as a form of exercise or body building, you will end up with just what you reached for ... a more beautiful body. On the other hand, if you undertake hatha yoga as a form of yoga then it will, in a relatively short time, bring about a profound metamorphosis in your body calmness, sensitivity, and lightness ... all of which will facilitate your sadhana. ” - Ram Dass

This chapter will aim to cover areas like - What are values?  Schultz’s research findings.  Respected figures.  Evolutionary psychology.  Self-determination theory, key needs, goals & motivations.  ‘Mentalities’ & behavioural response systems.  Funeral speeches.  Clarifying & setting goals.  

 

"Fire": what we want our lives to be about

The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant.
We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.

- Albert Einstein

Upgrading the 'breathing space' meditation, some research-based suggestions (3rd post): embodied values

I have already written a couple of blog posts "Upgrading the 'breathing space' meditation, some research-based suggestions (1st post): mindfulness & naming" and "Upgrading the 'breathing space' meditation, some research-based suggestions (2nd post): touch & affectionate releasing" where we have taken our attention inwards, noting & naming our internal state/our internal weather, and responding to this inner state with settling touch, self-compassion & relaxation.  These posts have introduced nine suggestions that potentially upgrade a more standard breathing space practice.

Kidney donation: preoperative preparation & facing challenges generally - values are central

I'm soon due to have an operation on my left kidney.  I'm donating it anonymously to someone else who needs it pretty desperately.  I have already written about this process - see "Kidney donation: why it's well worth consideringand "Kidney donation: what are the risks?".  Primarily these kidney-focused blog posts are to help other donors and their families & friends.  However, some aspects of the posts are likely to be of interest more generally.  For example, these ones on pre-operative preparation have some relevance to many situations where one is facing a potentially daunting challenge.

Warwick BABCP conference: 1st morning - trauma memories & a master presentation on four decades of outcome research (2nd post)

Yesterday I blogged about the pre-conference workshop I attended on "Anger dysregulation". Today was the first full day of the conference proper.  Breakfast illustrated the kind of helpful, fun conversation that can emerge at this kind of event.  I talked to Fiona McFarlene & Tara Murphy who were going on to run a skills class on "Exposure and response prevention: adapting skills you already have to the treatment of tics".

Most people agree on the healthy key values they want to live by and this is real grounds for hope

"Wisdom, compassion, and courage are the three universally recognized moral qualities of men."                                                                                                            Confucius

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