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Personal ‘retreat’: second reflection – settling & questioning

I wrote a post yesterday about arriving here at the Krishnamurti Study Centre.  Now it's early on the second morning – how was the first full day?  It was fine.  I wrote, thought, read, went on a two-hour walk (boots repeatedly clogging with the Hampshire clay), practised yoga, meditated, and talked a bit (at mealtimes).  I can feel myself settling, my mind ‘changing’, still a bit ‘uncertain’ of this big shift in my environment & activities.  It seems like I’m thinking more clearly and about bigger issues.

Personal ‘retreat’: first reflection – setting the scene

So here I am bright & early on the first full day of a ten-day personal retreat at the Krishnamurti Study Centre in Hampshire.  Why?  Well I was conscious of three intertwining reasons when I booked this time away several months ago.  One is about doing & being, another about awareness, and the third is about getting a perspective on my life.  And who knows, maybe I will be surprised by other reasons that emerge during my stay here.

A project to change long-term interpersonal patterns: post-group reflections

In a recent post - "A project to change long-term interpersonal patterns: at a residential group- I described a fairly classic example of the sort of tangle I can sometimes get into interpersonally (probably especially in group therapy environments), where others may see me as judgemental, a bit condescending, over-dominant and fairly invulnerable. Besides this being territory that I want personally to understand better and change, I hope that this kind of exploration can illuminate the tricky challenge of changing longterm patterns for others who are interested in this kind of work ... either as "general public" or as "psychotherapists".

A project to change long-term interpersonal patterns: background

I have just got back from a rather wonderful two week holiday in Kerala with my wife, Catero.  It was very special ... and one of the interesting spin-offs was the perspective one can get looking back at one's everyday life typically played out over 5,000 miles away.  I'm immensely lucky ... happily married, close to our children & grandchildren, healthy, blessed with precious friends, and committed to work that's a vocation more than a job.  Of course, old age, illness and death lie in wait for me and for those I love.  Of course this sunlit period of our lives is temporary.  And that can make it all the sweeter ... see, for example, Frias's study "Death reflection enhances gratitude".

A project to change longterm interpersonal patterns: finding a therapist

 

Needs-Beliefs-Behaviours

See too Nissen-Lie et al's "Patient and therapist perspectives on alliance development: Therapists' practice experiences as predictors" with its finding about the toxic effects on client rated therapeutic alliance produced by the "leaking" of unspoken critical therapist. 

"Humble warmth" "Therapist predictors of early patient-rated working alliance: A multilevel approach"

Pre-session 'meditation' on client strengths & resources.  Compassion work.

Work on compassion both for self and for others and its effects on self-esteem ... and note too the benefits of "saying turquoise" and other emotional intelligence aspects.

Peer residential group, final morning: review, group function & the benefit of working with difficulties (4th post)

Yesterday we had the final morning of the 'long weekend' three day Scottish Mixed Group.  I have already written posts about arriving, and the first and the second full days.  This was the fourth year that we had met for these annual get-togethers that run from Friday evening to Monday lunchtime; and several of us from the group have also met for an occasional full day workshop during the year between residentials.

Arriving at the Scottish mixed peer residential group: settling in (1st post)

I have been involved with interpersonal group work since being blown away by my first experience at a weekend workshop way back in 1972.  Although I was pretty much a paid-up hippie at the time (and a medical student as well), I had little experience of people deeply & honestly stating how they were genuinely feeling.  70's encounter groups sometimes seemed to err on letting it all hang out a bit too much for participants' own good; they were certainly however a gale of fresh air blowing through my buttoned-up upbringing.  By the end of that first weekend, I knew this was something I very much wanted to explore a lot further.

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