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A project to change long-term interpersonal patterns: background

I have just got back from a rather wonderful two week holiday in Kerala with my wife, Catero.  It was very special ... and one of the interesting spin-offs was the perspective one can get looking back at one's everyday life typically played out over 5,000 miles away.  I'm immensely lucky ... happily married, close to our children & grandchildren, healthy, blessed with precious friends, and committed to work that's a vocation more than a job.  Of course, old age, illness and death lie in wait for me and for those I love.  Of course this sunlit period of our lives is temporary.  And that can make it all the sweeter ... see, for example, Frias's study "Death reflection enhances gratitude".

A project to change longterm interpersonal patterns: finding a therapist

 

Needs-Beliefs-Behaviours

See too Nissen-Lie et al's "Patient and therapist perspectives on alliance development: Therapists' practice experiences as predictors" with its finding about the toxic effects on client rated therapeutic alliance produced by the "leaking" of unspoken critical therapist. 

"Humble warmth" "Therapist predictors of early patient-rated working alliance: A multilevel approach"

Pre-session 'meditation' on client strengths & resources.  Compassion work.

Work on compassion both for self and for others and its effects on self-esteem ... and note too the benefits of "saying turquoise" and other emotional intelligence aspects.

Peer residential group, final morning: review, group function & the benefit of working with difficulties (4th post)

Yesterday we had the final morning of the 'long weekend' three day Scottish Mixed Group.  I have already written posts about arriving, and the first and the second full days.  This was the fourth year that we had met for these annual get-togethers that run from Friday evening to Monday lunchtime; and several of us from the group have also met for an occasional full day workshop during the year between residentials.

Peer residential group, second full day: meditation, turbulence, sharing, conflict & singing (3rd post)

I wrote yesterday about the first full day of this Scottish Peer Mixed Group, singing a celebration of what felt like one of the really special days of my life.  And then yesterday the river of the group slipped into more shadow for me, the emotional/interpersonal weather changing.  Squalls, rain, cross currents & turbulence.  One of the more difficult group days.  So fascinating this.  Metaphors can be very helpful when navigating challenges.  Important to be cautious & thoughtful with them though, because metaphors/models/charts aren't the reality itself.  What's actually going on is so complex & multi-layered in a group of eighteen people that it highlights the, at times, over-simplicity of operating charts ...

Therapeutic alliance ruptures/tensions: description, frequency, causes & effects

I wrote a blog post yesterday entitled "Therapeutic alliance ruptures: common, very challenging & a key area for increasing therapist (and personal) helpfulness"I think this area is so important that I'd like to spend additional time exploring it more thoroughly. 

"Therapeutic alliance ruptures": common, very challenging & a key area for increasing therapist (and personal) helpfulness

We had another of our small peer Emotion-Focused Therapy supervision/practice groups yesterday evening.  Half a dozen of us were able to make it.  We'd agreed we would look particularly at "therapeutic alliance ruptures" at this meeting.  As a doctor, I can't help finding the term "alliance rupture" rather giggle-inducing.  I have all kinds of pictures of unwanted extrusions, metaphorical trusses and possibly extreme interpersonal surgical cures. 

Peer groups, Cumbria spring group: second full day - couple's work, interpersonal challenge, fathers and banquets

The start of the third full day here.  In yesterday's post I wrote about the first full day and today I'll write about our second full day together.  We've had so much rain over the last couple of days, it's a blessing to see the bright early sunlight splashed along the wall outside the window as I sit here writing.  I sneaked away to bed with Catero my wife a bit early yesterday evening.  It had been a long special day and now I'm up this morning feeling fresh.

Update on website traffic: my own favourite top 15 (6-10) - therapist feedback, relationships, conflict, group work, & walking

Last month I used Google Analytics to identify the most read pages on this website and I wrote the post "Update on website traffic: the ten most popular blog posts". This got me thinking - "What are my own personal favourites?" I quickly realised that the posts that I've written that have had the most impact on me and my practice as a therapist are nearly always made up of sequences of blog posts rather than just individual items.  I said that glancing back over the last year or so, themes that stood out included mindfulness, therapist feedback, self-control, conflict, embodied cognition and positive psychology.

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