Yesterday I was away from the group for most of the day.  I started as usual - got up, wrote, met others, breakfast.  Then we came together briefly as the full 37 standing in a big circle outside the house on the gravel.  OK, we had already been the full 37 having breakfast, but coming together in the big circle helped me (and probably many others) feel part of the bigger group.  The circle was used for practical housekeeping around timings during the day and other issues, but there also seemed to be another important function in physically creating the holding circle of the full group.

We'd agreed to have breakfast ½ hour earlier than usual at 8.30am, so having the circle for twenty minutes or so at 9.15am still allowed our small support groups of 4 to meet for well over an hour up to 11.00am.  We'd agreed then to have a tea break and run the groups of 12-13 from 11.15 to lunch at 1.30.  Then a post-lunch period which people use to walk, talk, play, rest, and also for optional special interest groups - with the themes being offered by various people who wanted a chance to explore various issues more deeply.  We were then to meet again as the full group at 4.30.

So yesterday was the second full day of the group and it went roaring along - like holidays where initially time moves slowly and then seems to accelerate.  Here the "train" of group memories seems to gather pace for me by this second day.  My sense has been that for all three of the mid-size groups of 12-13, the first day was at times quite a struggle - what are we here for?  Do I really emotionally trust these other people?  Do they like and accept me?  Is it safe to take risks and be vulnerable here?  Might I end up feeling rejected, humiliated or abandoned?  All of these seem totally sensible questions to me, and I think they need to feel answered on a gut, not just a head level.

Back in May I wrote about a peer Mixed Group I have been involved in for many years.  I explained how I'd been coming to this Mixed Group since 1991 and how the group had evolved and budded off both a Men's Group and Women's Group.  I talked about the origins and purpose of these groups and also why writing about my personal involvement in them seems relevant to this blog on stress, health & wellbeing.

Besides the Mixed Group in May, I have also come regularly to a Men's Group in November.  They are both just four days long and I've found them hugely precious over the years.  This autumn's Men's Group was at Wiston Lodge about an hour's drive south of Edinburgh and I took my Eee PC along to it to write a bit about my experience: 

There's a huge amount more I could reflect on about the group.  I'll keep it here, though, to just a final set of thoughts about the overlapping field of group therapy.  These peer groups are about

Why are these groups often so great, so welcome, so precious?  Real life is very rich - theories only capture aspects of this richness.  However a theory, that I like a lot, highlights one reason why these peer groups are so important.  The theory is Self-Determination Theory (SDT).  It has evolved for over three decades.  The SDT website (see below) is a treasure trove of information about this approach.  It contains hundreds of research papers covering SDT's application to many fields including happiness, wellbeing, friendship, couples, parenting, education, psychotherapy, healthcare, political/ecological action - to name just some of the more obviously relevant. 

SDT focuses particularly on the crucial importance of satisfying three basic psychological needs - autonomy, competence and relatedness.  It proposes that:

I wake feeling sadder this morning - partly because it's the last morning, partly because there are still feelings from yesterday hanging around.

Up, making time for a longer yoga practice this morning. Settle on Satie's piano music as a background CD. Sitting meditating with Catero. A plunge in the stream. Such a beautiful spring morning.

Woke a bit after 6.00am. Lay in bed for a while, then up, washed. How am I feeling today? How am I feeling about the group? How are we doing?

The morning starts slowly and gently ... ambling up to the kitchen, doing some tidying away after the night before, switching on the big hot water urn ...