Last updated on 2nd July 2008
I wake feeling sadder this morning - partly because it's the last morning, partly because there are still feelings from yesterday hanging around. It's so interesting to notice the hugely different emotional spaces I move through over the intense four days of this kind of group meeting. Again a blessing and a learning over the years - to honour and work with what comes up, but not to be too alarmed or surprised or taken over by any of my inner changing emotional weather. ‘Affect phobia' - fear of feelings - can be as troublesome and limiting as better known fears like flying phobia or agoraphobia. Again a plunge in the stream. This time I climb up the small waterfall and walk along the rocks further up. Then walking up the drove road with dear Catero in the sunshine. Leaning on a gate surrounded by lambs, looking out over the valley. Magic times.
Then the final group meeting. The ‘go-round', checking in. Appreciations, gratitude, intentions, tears, smiles. Moving and deep. Yes, I know that this kind of work, this kind of time has powerfully helped me in my life. And also there is a quality of ‘this is enoughness' about these precious meetings. Even if they led to nowhere else, even if they didn't affect the quality of the rest of my life (as they so helpfully do), just having these rich, profound, full four days in my life would be totally fine - so grateful and glad to have such experiences as part of my time on this planet.
Hugs, individual partings, tidying up. Then lunch in the sunshine. Extraordinarily, as we drive away, there comes the first rain of the whole trip - a thunderous early summer storm. Delicious!